The Difference Between Living Somewhere and Belonging There
4 things I'd tell any expat trying to move from outsider to local
In my country I am known as: the one who left and the one who changed.
Here in The Netherlands I am known as: stranger.
two years ago we decided to embrace the opportunity to migrate to a new country. Every person that I talked too told me that it was going to be hard experience but it was worthy.
And that opportunities like this one comes once in a lifetime, I agreed so while thinking about it I did a list of all the things I will be giving up and see if I could live with that.
Because truth be told, you can have everything just not everything at the same time.
When doing this list I realized what was important to me and decided that the thing I will be saying goodbye have served their purpose (job, a house, a car etc)
But what nobody mention is the in-between period and how challenging was it going to be.
Having to learn the rules from scratch, try to understand a language you are not familiar with to start again.
Going to the supermarket and translating everything to find something similar of what you used back home.
Having your name butchered because is very difficult to pronounce.
Missing the voices at the other side of the phone, voices that you cannot longer hug.
Being far away from your country means that you would see the ones you care about grow old at the other side of the screen always saying see you soon even though you don’t know when would that be.
And physically my feet had crossed a boarder but somehow part of my soul would always stay behind.
This are the real pains and struggles that an EXPAT lives everyday, the price that needs to be paid in the name of better life.
That is something that once you know you pay it with a heavy heart and understand that only time will let you settle in this new place to call it a home.
I would never have thought that living in uncertainty could be feasible but I have learned to do that in these two years, embrace what it is as it comes. Try to pivot when necessary and have the openness to receive.
Anniversaries are important and in this letter I want to celebrate this incredible achievement and want to share the lessons I have learned.
Integrate as soon as you can
I thought that I needed to figured everything out on my own but here I have seen how people can help you when you mention you are an EXPAT. Asking questions and try to say “good morning” “good afternoon” in their language will make all the difference in the long run.
Embrace feeling uncomfortable
Is going to be a long way until you feel at home, and that is okay. It is not a sign that you took a bad decision is just a transition period. Enjoy the things that you like (books, ice cream, coffee) and don’t rush the process you will start to understand.
Be open to opportunities
This one is the most important for me, in Mexico I was working as an engineer and here I had a one year project and after it finished I could not find a job. I got frustrated but apply to a job that was not what I usually do and turned out to be the best decision,I got to know someone who got me my dream job.
Books are always a good idea
Many important conversations have started because of a book, I am now someone who reads on the train, in the park, at the bus stop and every time I have talked to amazing people who had broaden my perspective of the country and also of the human race in general.
I’m still on the road, pun intended. I’m still deciding, I’m still assessing. I’m still pivoting.
But I’m here, and I’m hopeful because I have to be.
See you next time,
Love,
Ana
Ps:
Next, A Field Guide to Not Lose Yourself in Hard Times
Book of the Month: The Road by Cormac McCarthy
“A father and his young son walk alone through burned America, heading slowly for the coast. Nothing moves un the ravaged landscape save the ash on the wind. They have nothing but a pistol to defend themselves against the man who stalk the road, the clothes they are wearing, a cart of scavenged food and each other”
Reminds us how much we have to loose and how to take care of it.
It makes you care about what is happening in the world beyond
It shows you that even in the darkest times humans can be good
How hope is key to survival
Why join?
Every Monday: Journaling prompts I am using to reflect on my life through the lens of the story.These prompts are design to help you be brave and avoid looking away.
Monthly: Curated recommendations from my life to keep you present.
A little about the author:
Hi there! I’m Ana, the soul behind Reading as Resistance. I am Engineer by training, artist by choice and a guardian of the wild. Originally from Mexico now living in the Netherlands. This space is meant to help you connect with life again and find hope while being present in this chaotic world.
Welcome to the Resistance!